August 2013 our first FET
After our eventful IVF In July we were excited to be able to do a natural FET (a frozen embryo transfer with no meds) a stress free cycle with no injections YES PLEASE!
Everything was going perfectly, I ovulated right on time and we called the lab so they could take out a straw of our 'bubsicles'. I was so excited all day, finally after all this time we were going to get to a transfer, our BFP was in reach we could see it!
I was at work when i noticed a missed call on my phone with a voicemail from the clinics director... i remember that message so clearly "hi its Dr Smith here there has been a problem with your frozen embryos please contact reception and have them put you straight through to me" i froze, my heart started racing and my hands were shaking. The call with Dr Smith was a blur, all i remember him saying was 'All 14 of your embryos have died we are completely shocked and we just have no explanation" he kept apologising and all i wanted to do was hang up because i didn't want him to hear me cry. I got on the phone to Greg and broke down, i felt as though i had lost a child. My parents were overseas and i called my mum and she couldn't do much more than to cry with me! I phoned my Mother in law and BFF both were speechless and really didn't know what to say, there wasn't anything to say it was over... I spent the rest of the day In tears.
I work as a Nanny for an 11 month old (he was 7months then) and when I got the call I was holding him, when I started crying he cried with me. Here I was holding someone elses perfect baby knowing that something had gone horribly wrong with my embryos. I left early that day, loving him was just too hard!
The clinic said my story had sparked the interest of a clinic in Eastern Europe and asked if we would mind being part of a case study. If our story can help just 1 couple then all this would make some sense.
Our clinic and the European clinic never found a reason for all 14 of our healthy embryos dying, lab error? Human error? Genetic Mutation? Or was it destiny? Was that just not meant to be? We wont ever know, but we like to think that it just wasn't our time!
We were told that we should consider an egg donor because getting me healthy enough to make a fresh transfer was near impossible and they didn't think that freezing another cycles embryos would work...
I did research like a crazy person, i read every article every blog post i could find! I found that a change in protocol had helped ladies that were over stimulator's like myself get to a fresh transfer and i knew i had to give it 1 more go!!
I called my clinic and asked if i could do a down regulation protocol (long cycle) and they agreed :) i was actually cycle 20 when i called and for a down reg cycle you start on cycle day 21!! The next day my dad and i went to the clinic and picked up my meds for IVF #2 :)
to be continued....
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