Do embryos go to heaven?

This embryo could have been a rock star, a teacher, an activist.. everything it could have been was already in its DNA but we will never know.


This week I've found myself wondering about all the embryos that never made it.

So they never had a heartbeat or organs, but these little embabies were genetically predetermined beings yet we aren't encouraged to mourn their loss instead we are told its just a negative and to 'try again'. This just doesn't seem right. For anyone that's been through a failed IVF cycle you will know that feeling when your period comes and you know that that perfect embryo you paid thousands of dollars to create and watched enter your uterus 2 weeks ago would be washed away like it never existed. For me this was the hardest part of a negative cycle. We spent the 2weeks from transfer to test day praying for that little embryo to stick. We would wonder about the gender, would they look like mummy or more like daddy, would they be shy or really outgoing. For 2 weeks we had big plans about what our embryo could have been.... now we will never know!

If our cycle worked we would be 12w3d and entering our 2nd trimester. Ive decided to acknowledge these 'milestones' rather than pushing it aside. I know our embryos weren't babies, but they were a piece of my husband and I that we created. We watched it go from an egg and a sperm into a bunch of cells that would one day be a living person, and i think we deserve to mourn that that little embaby never got the chance to live.

So for all of us that have had or will have a failed cycle, don't be afraid to mourn that tiny being that you created that missed out on the chance to be extraordinary. We made these miracles and we need to acknowledge that they did exist, and we need to mourn the fact that they never had the chance to love us back.

May all our embryos that never made it remain remembered and shine bright.